SPACEPORT

” I want to go to a planet where they don’t allow annoying block adds on radio or TV.”

“I want to go to a planet that doesn’t conduct political polls.”

“I want to go to a planet where election campaigns are limited to one month (or less).”

“I want to go to a planet where murder is called murder and not choice.”

“I want to go to a no smoking planet.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t have a “no questions asked” return policy.”

“I want to go to a planet where speed laws are used to protect people and not be used as a back-door tax.”

“I want to go to a planet where you can’t block your telephone number from identification devices.”

“I want to go to a planet where citizenship is based on one’s understanding of the Bible and knowledge of God.”

“I want to go to a planet where it doesn’t matter if Adam had a belly button or not.”

“I want to go to a planet where there is separation of Pope and Media.”

“I want to go to planet where there are no credit cards.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are two Americas.”

“I want to go to a planet where judges and lawyers aren’t allowed to own stock in any companies that run or supply prisons.”

“I want to go to a planet where buffet is spelled like it sounds.”

“I want to go to a planet where i doesn’t follow e.”

“I want to go to a planet where no one says, Oh my God! every time they turn around, or in sit-coms or win lotteries.”

“I want to go to a planet where they have separation of politics and Oscar.”

“I want to go to a planet where everyone has to write legibly.”

“I want to go to a planet where basketball actually has an end of the season.”

“I want to go to a planet where retired people don’t drive into town for coffee at 45 mph.”

“I want to go to a planet where liberals can “read my lips.”

“I want to go to a planet where “gay” is a four-letter word.”

“I want to go to a planet where radio isn’t just an excuse for commercials.”

“I want to go to a planet where insurance companies don’t exist.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are no mosquitoes or skunks.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are no lawyers.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are two roadway systems: one for those paid by the hour and one for those paid by the mile.”

“I want to go to a planet where there is no tenure.”

“I want to go to a planet where planes don’t land in buildings.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t have unnamed sources for critical news stories.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t have fast-talking disclaimers at the end of radio and TV commercials.”

“I want to go to a planet where imbeciles with cell phones have to use their cruise controls or pull off the road.”

“I want to go to a planet where Republicans have actual spines.”

“I want to go to a planet where there is no Madison Avenue.”

“I want to go to a planet where there is no such thing as a two-lane road.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are no gullible people.”

“I want to go to a planet where slavery is used as a punishment for all those who can’t handle freedom and not based on race, creed or color.”

“I want to go to a planet where capital punishment isn’t considered cruel and unusual.”

“I want to go to a planet where animals are not considered to be equal to humans.”

“I want to go to a planet where drivers that don’t intend to pass the car ahead will stay back 300 feet out of common courtesy so others can.”

“I want to go to a planet where town bypasses are the rule rather than the exception or better yet, where no towns can be built on through highways.”

“I want to go to a planet where (in the northern regions) trees and building sites can’t be placed closer than 1/4 of a mile to any roadway.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are no schools on any main throughfare.”

“I want to go to a planet where people walking their dogs don’t let them crap on someone else’s lawn.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are no Byrds (Robert C.).”

“I want to go to a planet where the people know the difference between capital punishment and abortion and what God authorizes and doesn’t.”

“I want to go to a planet where taggers are sent back to earth.”

“I want to go to a planet where kidnapping, child molesting, murdering perverts have fewer tights than their victims.”

“I want to go to a planet where child molesting, murdering perverts will be punished down here before God gets a hold of them.”

“I want to go to a planet where all the people support our troops especially when they are killing tyrants and bullies.”

“I want to go to a planet where independence isn’t considered isolationism.”

“I want to go to a planet where different races are happy with who they are and happy with each other.”

“I want to go to a planet where you eat what you grow and the other guy 14,000 miles away eats what he grows without all the import/export transportation costs involved in swapping the same food products back and forth with each other.”

“I want to go to a planet where police don’t have to use the word “allegedly” when describing cold-blooded killers caught in the act.”

“I want to go to a planet where there is no ACLU.”

“I want to go to a planet where liars will be punished before God gets a hold of them.”

“I want to go to a planet where radio commercials don’t contain music or cell ring sounds.”

“I want to go to a planet where you have to be a truck driver before you can become a cop.”

“I want to go to a planet where you have to be a cop and a truck driver before you can become a civil engineer.”

“I want to go to a planet where littering is unthinkable.”

“I want to go to a planet where you have to be a garbage man before you can become a citizen.”

“I want to go to a planet where only the innocent are presumed innocent.”

“I want to go to a planet where the Constitution is consistent with the Bible.”

“I want to go to a planet where there are realistic speed limits.”

“I want to go to a planet where people use their turn signals.”

“I want to go to a planet where the “other America” is.”

“I want to go to a planet where God is more popular than Santa.”

“I want to go to a planet where people believe in God more than Santa.”

“I want to go to a planet where people pray to God and not Santa.”

“I want to go to a planet where people treat God as God not Santa.”

“I want to go to a planet where they never heard of Santa.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t feel compelled to drink beer at every softball tournament or every tailgate party.”

“I want to go to a planet where dead people can’t vote.”

“I want to go to a planet where no patents are needed.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t have a Highway 86 (local Iowa joke).”

“I want to go to a planet where Christians use their Bibles as a guide to life.”

“I want to go to a planet where smokers won’t say, “Why me Lord.”

“I want to go to a planet where no one ever heard, “Oh, my god.”

“I want to go to a planet where news people present the news and not try to make it.”

“I want to go to a planet where a social engineer isn’t a news reporter.”

“I want to go to a planet where people know the difference between separation of church and state and separation of God and state.”

“I want to go to a planet where people don’t drink and drive.”

“I want to go to a planet where commercials don’t repeat the phone number three times in rapid succession.”

“I want to go to a planet where people that kill others by suicide don’t think they receive seven virgins when they get to paradise.”

“I want to go to a planet where virgins aren’t used as bait to get desperate people to blow up other people.”

“I want to go to a planet where suicide isn’t thought of as an easy escape.”

“I want to go to a planet where suicide is known as the impossible dream.”

“I want to go to a planet where they know the difference between the Passover Lamb and the Easter ham.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t call alcoholism a disease.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t call drug addiction a disease.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t call over-eating a disease.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t call gambling a disease.”

“I want to go to a planet where obesity isn’t called a disease or a handicap.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t call the results of sin a disease.”

“I want to go to a planet where people that call themselves Christians actually use and believe their Bibles.”

“I want to go to a planet where people don’t leave shopping carts in the middle of the parking lot.”

“I want to go to a planet where spouse abusers come with a warning label, so they can be sent back to earth, or at least to the other America.”

“I want to go to a planet where people that don’t like the sound of Jake brakes can’t build a house by a highway on a steep hill.”

“I want to go to a planet where Jake brakes and straight pipes sold together are illegal.”

“I want to go to a planet where housing projects can’t be built along side a noisy freeway.”

“I want to go to a planet where housing projects can’t be built along side an airport.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t use bait and hook sales tactics on radio and TV.”

“I want to go to a planet where they remember Jesus 365 days a year.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t use God’s name in vain and then cry, “Why me Lord,” when something goes wrong.”

“I want to go to a planet where – if they celebrate Christmas, they don’t put out decorations in the stores and homes until after Thanksgiving.”

“I want to go to a planet where Mars isn’t the solution to all of our problems.”

“I want to go to a planet where it’s understood that suicide isn’t the fast track to a better place.”

“I want to go to a planet where people that say they believe in the true God don’t want to kill everybody outside their own little group. We had enough of that in the dark ages.”

“I want to go to a planet where people that are too afraid to drive on the wet and snow covered roads, stay home.”

“I want to go to a planet where radio hasn’t evolved into the two-person slap and tickle morning show format.”

“I want to go to a planet where they can’t promote TV shows on radio.”

“I want to go to a planet where they can’t repeat the phone number more that twice on TV and radio ads.”

“I want to go to a planet where they think less of the people creating embryos than the ones that are carving them up in the name of health research.”

“I want to go to a planet where if people are going to speed, it is on the open highway and not through towns.”

“I want to go to a planet where no means no and yes means yes.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t encourage you to vote early and vote often.”

“I want to go to a planet where people vote for morality and not just their political party.”

“I want to go to a planet where it is easy to by-pass the legislature when they are too cowardly or politically correct to enact laws that protect people from wolves in sheep’s clothing.”

“I want to go to a planet where love, truth and freedom aren’t spelled A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N.”

“I want to go to a planet where people know the difference between wrestling and entertainment.”

“I want to go to a planet where people sell stuff for $8 rather than $7.99.”

“I want to go to a planet where everybody expects dust to come out of the rear of a combine.”

“I want to go to a planet where dust coming out of a farmer’s combine is accepted as normal.”

“I want to go to a planet where people stay home at night.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t raise pork in barrels.”

“I want to go to a planet where the Supreme Court can’t give permission to kill babies in the name of choice and women’s rights.”

“I want to go to a planet where they don’t allow fuzzy dice or handicapped signs to hang on the rear view mirror.”

“I want to go to a planet where politicians are not allowed to lie.”

“I want to go to a planet where smoking is something your tires do when you peel out.”

“I want to go to a planet where Christians don’t use God’s name in vain.”

“I want to go to a planet where liberals are an endangered species and nobody cares.”

“I want to go to a planet where they follow the American Constitution, which allows slavery for people who can’t handle freedom.”

“I want to go to a planet where they have an organization called: People for the Ethical Treatment of Unborn Babies.”

“I want to go to a planet where they have an organization called: People for the Ethical Treatment of Human Beings.”

“I want to go to a planet where they have an organization called, People for the Ethical Treatment of Conservatives (especially by the media).”

“I want to go to a planet where there is one bill, one vote.”

“I want to go to a planet where freedom fighters don’t hide behind women and children.”

“I want to go to a planet where insurance hasn’t replaced God.”

“I want to go to a planet where people trust in God more than insurance.”

“I want to go to a planet where people have faith instead of insurance.”

“I want to go to a planet where kids that played Monopoly can’t grow up to handle other people’s money.”

“I want to go to a planet where people know their financial limits.”

“I want to go to a planet where men want to be men and women want to be women.”

“I want to go to a planet where Jesus can’t be portrayed as exclusively gentle.”

“I want to go to a planet where personal responsibility is law.”

“I want to go to a planet where liberals blame the abuser rather than the product.”

“I want to go to a planet where people don’t suck densely polluted air into their lungs and call it pleasure.”

“I want to go to a planet where people don’t snort powerful mind-altering drugs into their noses and call it pleasure.”

“I want to go to a planet where people don’t drink alcoholic beverages until they puke and call it pleasure.”

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